1. |
Join the Cretin Army!
03:18
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Humans are pathetic, nothing more than scum
If you disagree come get you some!
What they lack is common sense, and for a monthly fee
I’ll let them learn that shit from me!
JOIN THE CRETIN ARMY!!!
Loser social outcast with acne on your face
I’m your Goblin Lord from space!
You shall do my bidding, and pay the auctioneer
Serving SkwYrm is your career
JOIN THE CRETIN ARMY!!!
You’re not a special snowflake, you’re nothing more than meat
Engulfing stupid energy
Human lives don’t matter, neither does your wealth
So send me cash or kill yourself!
JOIN THE CRETIN ARMY!!!
I promise I won’t waste it, I’m mostly buying drugs
And sloppy oral midget hugs
Not that it concerns you, how I spend my wealth
SEND ME CASH OR KILL YOURSELF!!!
JOIN THE CRETIN ARMY!!!
Now, I know what you’re thinking, it’s too good to be true
But there’s much more in store for you!
With a larger payment you receive a larger thanks!
BEHOLD as I explain the ranks!
Tier 1 – Cretin Cadet. Monthly cost of 3.33
Access is what you get to the special cretin community
Tier 2 – Cretin Captain. Cost of one, but double that.
Check the back of your Rank Card for the secret Cretin Council Chat
Tier 3 is Commodore. Costs 10.13 but worth much more
You get specail treatment, cuz you’re daddy’s little whore
Since you’ve bought the right to brag, I’ll also send our monthly mag
Muthafukkin CRETIN RAG!
Humans are pathetic, nothing more than scum
If you disagree come get you some!
What they lack is common sense, and for a monthly fee
I’ll let them learn that shit from me!
JOIN THE CRETIN ARMY!!!
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2. |
Judgment Lampreys
03:20
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There is a place, off in deep space
where the lampreys circle in a pool.
It doesn't fall even though it's on the wall.
Defying gravity is really cool!
This ain't no game! And if you weren't so lame
I would take you there so you could see
The miracle of the oracle
of the Judgment Lamprey
JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED BY LAMPREY!
Request a session, ask them a question
Lampreys answer psychically
If you cannot hear, it's your faulty human ear
I'm a Goblin so it works for me
Lampreys I adore, eternal swirling four
Spiraling with grace
When you are in need you can summon me!
For you, I'll travel into space
JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED BY LAMPREY!
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3. |
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Phestus Asbestos
I leave the ladies breathless
They're baffled by the wetness
as I give them a pearl necklace
Phestus Asbestos
My rhymes are quite infectious
I feed my beats some butter
just to make them fat and reckless
Phestus Asbestos
My salad's mostly lettuce
Hear word of that in Texas
and the pigs might come arrest us!
Phestus Asbestos
and Innocence is precious
if you're feeling restless,
let's undress and then molest us!!
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4. |
Blood Queef Blaster
02:32
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You need a tool to alleviate disaster?
Blood Queef Blaster!
You want a blasphemous blast for your pastor?
Blood Queef Blaster!
Straight to the face, can’t infect em’ any faster!
Blood Queef Blaster!
You are the blood slave, I am the master
Blood Queef Blaster
Get some blood
Load it up into the gun
Shoot someone
Engulf them in a cloud of blood
Yes you need it, and you know
When the crimson tide will blow.
Blood Queef Blaster
BLOOD QUEEF BLASTER
Guaranteed to well bestow
Splashing stain upon your foes
Blood Queef Blaster
BLOOD QUEEF BLASTER
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5. |
Maggot Mail
01:28
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You bought a tshirt?
A stupid comicbook?
Or a guitar pick?
Some other piece of art?
It’s gonna find you,
and I can guarantee
it will arrive by
maggot delivery.
I"LL SEND MAGGOT MAIL!
"Dead on your Doorstep!"
Inject the bugs
with toxic drugs,
makes them beef up
and also self destruct
Program the address
to activate it
Dead on your doorstep
so you get your shit!
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6. |
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Drinking at the after party, ready to mingle
I'm seeing double & I'm acting single
your body makes my genitalia tingle
I'm seeing double & I'm acting single
you got a boyfriend and I got a girlfriend
but we can pretend that they disappeared
I got a girlfriend but you know I don't care
cuz she's back home and you're right here
Well you're bisexual and I'm bilingual
I'm seeing double & I'm acting single
Full you up with my spare change and make that pussy jingle!
I'm seeing double & I'm acting single
you got a boyfriend and I got a girlfriend
but we can pretend that they disappeared
I got a girlfriend but you know I don't care
she's back home and you're right here
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7. |
Forget ~ Relearn
02:19
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You wanna go up to the Sun, but you don't believe in yourself.
You haven't even crafted your wax wings.
You wanna murder everyone, but you don't believe in yourself.
You wanna kill the Sun, but you don't Believe.
I lead, you follow
I bleed, you swallow
I scream yet you don't hear
These words fall of deaf ears
Forget...
Relearn...
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8. |
Die Junkie Die!
01:42
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In an ideal world all the trails will be paved
with the shattered empty skulls of the chemically enslaved
Died on the trail to the junk that they craved
crushed into dust in a meaningless grave
Die Junkie Die
Pill Billy Die Die
I'm callin' you out because I'm sick of your shit
and I hope that you die so you can finally quit
while you're throwing a fit cuz you're no match for my wit
your whole crew just OD'd as luck would have it
Die Junkie Die
Pill Billy Die Die
Being a Junkie's not a fucking disease
but a sign of your weakness that everyone sees
numbly stumbling trying to fuck some insecure ladies
that tolerate your stupid shit for pills and STD's
Die Junkie Die
Pill Billy Die Die
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9. |
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Goblins playing video games
Button mash amongst the flames
Until they lose and then get mean
They smash their way into the screen
GAME OVER!
Flashes in the sky
Every pixilated creature’s
Gonna fucking die
GAME OVER!
Hear my battle cry!
No amount of quarters
Will revive the crucified
GAME OVER!
Tis a quirk I can’t deny
When I do not win it seems
My rage doth amplify
GAME OVER!
The end is fucking nigh
Stick your head between your legs
And kiss your pixel ass goodbye
Find you in your mushroom house
Take your fucking innards out
Pour your blood into a cup
Bet you wish you had a power up
GAME OVER!
Soon you’ll all be dead
I felt that I should clarify
Incase you’ve been misled
GAME OVER!
Words that you dread
Suppose you’d rather a 1-up
Or fireballs instead
GAME OVER!
Paint the walls red
And maybe do the furniture too
If there’s enough bloodshed
GAME OVER!
Hack off your head
As I ignore your dinosaur
And sip rhode island red
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Asmodæn Blood Coven Records Ohio
All musical projects are Wylhelm Von SkwYrm. This label will only ever put out things made by Wylhelm Von SkwYrm. Wylhelm Von SkwYrm hates you. Send money.
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